The two biggest barriers to good decision are your ego and your blind spots. Together they make it difficult for you to objectively see what is true about you and your circumstances and to make the best possible decision by getting the most out of others.

a. Understand your ego barrier.

This is your subliminal defense mechanisms that make it hard for you to accept your mistakes and weakness. Your deep-seated needs and fears – such as the need to be loved, and the fear of losing love, the need to survive and the fear of not surviving, the need to be important and the fear of not mattering- all resides in primitive parts of your brain: amygdala– which are structures in your temporal lobe that process emotions. The amygdala over oversimplifies things and react instinctively.

At the same time, higher-level consciousness resides in your neocortex– in the prefrontal cortex. This is the most distinctively human feature of your brain; it is large in humans than in most other species. It is where you experience conscious awareness of decision making (executive function of the brain), as well as apply logic and reasoning.

b. Your two ‘yous’ fight to control you- just like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Your higher-level you is not aware of your lower-level you. This conflict is universal.

When someone gets angry, his prefrontal cortex is sparring with his amygdala (lower-level parts of his brain).

c. Understand your bling spot barrier.

We all have different ranges for hearing pitch and seeing colours- similarly we all have different ranges for seeing and understanding things. We each see things in our own way. Some people are big picture and miss small details, others naturally see details and miss big picture. Some people are linear thinkers, others think laterally. Some people are more emotional while others are mot logical. People cannot appreciate what they can’t see. But yet, none of these individuals would be able to succeed at any kind of complex project without the help of others who have complementary strength.

If you are like most people, you have no clue how other people see things and aren’t good at seeking to understand what they are thinking, because you are too preoccupied with telling them what you yourself think is correct. You are close-minded and close-mindedness is terribly costly- it causes you to miss out on all sorts of wonderful possibilities and dangerous threats that other people might be showing you- and it blocks criticisms that could be constructive and even lifesaving.

The two barriers- ego and blind spots – are the fatal flaws that keep intelligent, hardworking people from living up to their potential. How do we get past these barriers?

Practice radical open-mindedness.

If you can recognise that you have blind spots and open-mindedly consider the possibility that others might see something better than you, that the threats and also opportunities they are trying to point out really exist- you are more likely to make good decisions.

Radical open-mindedness
– is the genuine worry that you might not be seeing your choices optimally.
– is the ability to effectively explore different points of view and different possibilities without letting your ego or blind spots get in your way.
– is to replace your attachment to always being right with the joy of learning what’s true.
– is to escape from your lower-level you and ensures your higher-level you sees and considers all the good choices and makes the best possible decisions.

The outcome:
Over time, you will be able to deal with your realities more effectively and radically improve your life.

Radical open-mindedness is NOT just being ‘open to being wrong’, but stubbornly cling to whatever opinion is in their head and fail to seek an understanding of the reasoning behind alternative points of view. What must you DO to be radically open-minded?

1. Sincerely believe that you might not know the best possible path; recognise that your ability to deal well with ‘not knowing’ is more important that whatever it is that you do already know.

2. Decision making is a two-step process: First take in all the relevant information, then decide.

3. Don’t worry about looking good, worry about achieving your goal.

4. You can’t put out without taking in.

5. Gain the perspective of others by first suspending judgement for a time. It means consider the reason of others instead of stubbornly and illogically holding on to your own point of view. You need to be open to the possibility that you could be wrong and you encourage others to tell you so.

6. You’re looking for the best answer, not simply the best answer you can come up with yourself.

7. Be clear on whether you are arguing or seeking to understand.

Appreciate the art of thoughtful disagreement.

In thoughtful disagreement, your goal is not to convince the other party that you are right- it is to find out which view is true and decide what to do about it.
In thoughtful disagreement, both parties are motivated by the genuine fear of missing important perspectives.